The color of fear. 4 Colors That Represent Fear (A to Z List) 2022-10-28
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The Color of Fear (1997)
And I sat there, and I didn't say anything. And this is a continual thing. But there's another tape that I've developed also—that says, "This isn't true. And the ride up here, I was like—"Oh man! You know—I was nervous. Each man does not stand on his own! And I can't think of anything I'd rather do in my life than to see this great project of human life, and of life in general, on this planet persist and go on. I said, "Well, I'm going to put 'Japanese' down. I mean, it's like he wanted to get out of that state as fast as he could.
I'll get to it in a minute! And I looked around, and there was a Black man in a motorcycle helmet getting money out of the money machine. I was raised acculturated to not express that kind of anger when I'm mistreated, and to take it silently. In this sense, fear functions as a form of self-preservation. I think that's—that's why I call it "internalized racism," because I don't think that I, in a vacuum, I am racist against Blacks. You, I think, have just barely tapped into what racism is all about. They didn't want to identify as being Buddhist anymore. And—you know, my people don't want Blacks in the restaurant.
Drive through Kentucky and Tennessee and see the Appalachian Mountains up ahead of you, and know you want to get through those mountains so fast without stopping for anything, because you don't know if you'll get out. I grew up—I went to high school in an all-white environment. But, no, it's not a question of every man standing on his own ground. What I can hold onto are the individuals that I know are changing. These tints can be used to signify cowardice due to fear of rejection or failure. I think they perceive the Japanese as arrogant, distrustful, extremely violent, and repressed. I expect that of them, and that's what I would tell them.
You know, that kind of stuff is—is part of what makes this heavy for me. I think you put up that dam and that block yourself in your regard to the white man. Each of you were picked for your honesty. Please accept whatever I can do or say to you to relay to you the feeling that some of us white men really are not aware, that we are such a problem to you. And you know that I can't come over there! And I think—you have to listen to our experiences because they're valid. Yet when you go out into the world, just because of the color of your skin, people avoid you, they look at you as if you're a potential killer, they don't think you're a smart as they are. And for that, from the deepest part of my heart, I want to thank each of you.
In this universal ideal, he imagines a society of acceptance to others. What is it like to be white? I have never in my life claimed myself to be—" and it just, like—. You call me "white". And it gets tiring to not have that difference known. I'd tell them—I'd tell them what I would never want to hear from them again. The gap isn't being bridged here.
I'm sick of that! I think that's what I feel. It is a prohibitive color that gives off a chilly and depressing feeling. You think—and you think that it'll all be fine if we just treat each other like "human beings". Because you're not allowed to be a Black man in corporate America. It's based on personal and collective history. All of the ground damn near of this planet has been taken from almost all people of color on this planet. It's just … in the air that you breathe.
And I even seek after artefacts from from their history. If not once, several times. Certain European American immigrants also faced such discrimination. But it did not protect such immigrants and their descendants from the varieties of de facto prejudice, bullying, hate crimes, and segregation faced by ethnic minorities. And I know David will go away and he will educate his daughters, I know he'll do that, and the people around him, and that's what I have to hold onto.
As I'm ordering, they're looking up at me. I think, attacking white racism. And that really bothered me, that here was somebody who is another minority and yet, they had all these—they treated me in a way that they wouldn't want to be treated. You know—so somehow the measuring of the color line: you're either Black, or you're white. You're dying from it, too, but you don't know it necessarily. You cannot swallow me.
I felt like it was focused on me, but it was misplaced rage. And that is disturbing to us in some ways. Because it's just scary, and I don't know how to deal with it. As factual as the speech was, Dr. I would tell them what I expect. I think that white supremacy has placed limitations on where I can go and what I can do and—but I don't think that I cause my own predicament under white supremacy. .
