The third side ury. Summary of "The Third Side: Why We Fight and How We Can Stop" 2022-10-27
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The concept of the "third side" was introduced by William Ury in his book of the same name. The third side refers to the role that individuals and communities can play in conflict resolution and peacebuilding.
According to Ury, the traditional approach to conflict resolution involves two sides, typically referred to as the "opposing parties." These parties are often locked in a struggle for power and resources, and their interactions are typically characterized by competition, coercion, and even violence.
The third side represents a different approach to conflict resolution. Rather than being a party to the conflict, the third side takes on a mediating role, working to facilitate communication and understanding between the opposing parties. The third side does not take sides, but rather seeks to understand the perspectives and needs of all parties involved and to find a mutually beneficial resolution to the conflict.
The role of the third side is particularly important in situations where the opposing parties are unable or unwilling to come to the negotiating table on their own. By bringing a neutral perspective and facilitating dialogue, the third side can help to break the impasse and create the conditions for a peaceful resolution.
The third side approach can be applied in a variety of contexts, including interpersonal conflicts, community disputes, and international conflicts. It requires a high level of empathy and the ability to see things from multiple perspectives. It also requires a willingness to engage with and understand the needs of all parties involved, even those who may be adversaries.
In conclusion, the concept of the third side offers a powerful alternative to traditional approaches to conflict resolution. By taking on a mediating role and seeking to understand the perspectives and needs of all parties, individuals and communities can play a vital role in peacebuilding and conflict resolution.
The third side : why we fight and how we can stop : Ury, William : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive
They take away dangerous weapons and they strengthen defenses. If prevention doesn't work by itself, you then need any of four and most likely all four resolution roles, which include mediator, arbiter, equalizer, and healer. The question is whether the decision is legitimate and whether the constituents of the disputants will follow the decision that is made. Third-siders could listen with empathy, and then bring people to the balcony so they can act appropriately to contain, resolve and prevent destructive arguments. And if resolution doesn't work, then you're left with the three containment roles-- witness, referee, and peacekeeper.
In very difficult intractable conflicts, Ury says that you need all 10 roles working at once in order to be able to bring about effective peace making and peacebuilding. Thanks to technology, all the tribes on the planet can, for the first time, get in touch with each other. No matter what divides us, we saw that what unites us is far greater. For hunting, the San use deadly poison arrows. Ury is the recipient of the Whitney North Seymour Award from the American Arbitration Association and the Distinguished Service Medal from the Russian Parliament. This is a school that is in a village that is equidistant from Tel Aviv and Jerusalem in Israel that has Palestinians and Israeli Jews living together and going to school together and humanizing each other. That is the role of the Referee, who sets limits on fighting.
William Ury: How Do We Transform Conflict Into Cooperation? : NPR
The picture here is an online trainer's manual for training youth in Sudan on peace-building written by Charlotte Hulley. By helping people learn new values, perspectives and skills, we as Teachers can show them a better way to deal with differences. We started in Urfa, in southern Turkey formerly northern Mesopotamia , which is where people believe Abraham was born, and journeyed together to Harran, where, according to the ancient scriptures, he set off on his journey. Thus, Ury views violent coercion not as inevitable, but as a socially-constructed norm. Sometimes people fight simply because they know no other way to react when a need is frustrated and a serious difference arises. The most basic human needs include food and other necessities for living , safety, identity, and freedom. What do I know about Puerto Rico? Mailing Address: Beyond Intractability, 1188, 1601 29th St.
And if you can turn people who are stereotyped, who are seen as non-human, seen as simply the enemy, into real live people, who if you get to know them, you'll figure out are a lot like you, that can go a long way towards deescalating conflict and working towards peace. Veteran negotiator William Ury shares his hard-won insights. Many of our negotiations and conflicts today are like those 17 camels — they seem impossible to resolve, with no apparent solution in sight. These four roles equalizers, mediators, arbiters, and healers sometimes will be enough to resolve the conflict. But it could have been a lot worse if nobody had known about what was going on.
Parents of squabbling kids are arbiters. The Third Side: Why We Fight and How We Can Stop. Negotiation Skills Build powerful negotiation skills and become a better dealmaker and leader. So what do they do when tempers rise and conflict threatens to turn destructive? They give others a sense of security, and most importantly, they help ensure that fundamental human needs are met. As a negotiator, mediator and cofounder of the One of my favorite negotiation stories is about a man who leaves his herd of 17 camels to his three sons as their inheritance.
Referees establish rules for fair fighting. As I saw for myself, someone first goes and hides the poison arrows. What we need now is to awaken and mobilize our most ancient system for dealing constructively with conflict, the third side. She said, 'Daddy, I love you very much. This picture here is a very moving story of a peace builder Ryan Boyette, who was profiled again by Nick Kristof.
The Third Side: Why We Fight and How We Can Stop by William Ury
Five minutes later rescuers pulled Wilson and his daughter out from under the collapsed building. In short, the origin story goes like this: 4,000 years ago, a man and his family walked across the Middle East, and the world has never been the same since. Ury has taught negotiation to tens of thousands of corporate executives, labor leaders, diplomats and military officers around the world. Anyone wishing to live peacefully, or to live at all, must read this well-researched, lucidly written treatise. When the rules are broken and the limits on fighting exceeded, the community needs to employ the minimally forceful measures necessary to stop harmful conflict in its tracks.
The best Peacekeepers never fight. I will pray for these men tonight and every night. To the first son, he leaves half the camels; to the middle son, he leaves a third of the camels; and to the youngest son, he leaves a ninth of the camels. Everyone was expecting bloodshed to continue forever, and the secret was the activation of the third side. William Ury is the co-founder of Harvard's Program on Negotiation, where he directs the Project on Preventing War. The final opportunity is containment. Each of our individual actions is like a single spider web, fragile perhaps but, when united with others, capable of halting the lion of war.
Sometimes people really don't know any alternative to fighting. Nine plus six plus two adds up to a total of 17 camels. Oftentimes in severe conflicts, all 10 of these roles are needed simultaneously. So much depends on our ability to handle our conflicts peacefully — our happiness at home, our performance at work, the livability of our communities, and, in this age of mass destruction, the survival of our species. This is in contrast to arbiters or more commonly called arbitrators who are neutral third parties just like mediators are, but arbiters listen to the arguments, they examine the facts, and then they make a decision.
Summary of "The Third Side: Why We Fight and How We Can Stop"
They patrol and report violence, and they call attention to potential violence to other community members who they then hope will do something. Healers help parties overcome their feelings of anger, fear, humiliation, insecurity and grief. The Power of Three: Discovering what really matters in life. A Witness can also speak up to persuade the parties to cease fighting and sound the alarm to call the attention of other Thirdsiders who can intervene as Mediators, Peacekeepers, or other Witnesses. Then everyone sits down in a circle and begin to talk and to listen, often for days on end. The less powerful party will maintain its grievances and eventually the conflict is likely to re-arise. An example of this was the South African Truth and Reconciliation Commission, which encouraged telling of stories, listening to those stories, and encouraging apology and forgiveness, and at times making reparations.